Friday, February 13, 2009

Godless Pepsi

I got this glurge in a bulletin from somebody on my friends list:



Pepsi has a new 'patriotic' can coming out with pictures of the Empire State Building , and the Pledge of Allegiance on them.

However, Pepsi left out two little words on the pledge, 'Under God.


Pepsi said they didn't want to offend anyone.

In that case, we don't want to offend anyone at the Pepsi corporate office, either! So if we don't buy any Pepsi product, they will not be offended when they don't receive our money that has the words 'In God We Trust' on it.



Excuse me while I fucking puke.

Not ONLY has this very same bulletin been posted countless times in the past two years (which means it's probably not true, do us all a favor and go check before being an idiot), BUT...

Since WHEN did PEPSI have anything to do with god? I think it's highly inappropriate to design Pepsi cans with the Pledge of Allegiance on them anyway, unless it's some special commemorative 4th of July can or some shit, and even that's a gray area. But y'know what? Even if this story was true, and PepsiCo felt the need to omit the words 'under god' so as not to offend the various other people in the country who DON'T pray to a bearded fucking Jesus, so what? It's their company and I'm reckoning they are smart enough and have enough PR people to realize that offended the population with religious propaganda while they're trying to drink a soda will effect sales.

PEOPLE. Please. I am begging you. THINK before you post this shit.I know it's just MySpace and it doesn't matter and blah blah blah but be honest with yourself. You aren't going to stop drinking Pepsi. Nobody is going to boycott Pepsi anymore than they would boycott Doritos, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or Walmart. Why? Because those things are as American as obesity, underage pregnancy and missles.

I love how some folks will jump on a bandwagon about a can of goddamn Pepsi because it doesn't honor their idea of religious expression, and yet they'll still continue to shop at Wally World and handing their dough over to a billionare family that exploits third world workers for 18 cents a day. But wait a minute - those third world workers are communists - they deserve it! And the Indian people who are exploited by Walmart? Well, they're the next best thing to an Arab, right? Right? Obviously our can of aluminium carbonated goodness is a more important issue than the human rights of other people.

Why, oh why, I ask anyone, is God still an issue in this country? If you believe in God, Jesus, whatever, fine. That is your right. And there are millions of churches all over the damn country for you to practice that religion. You wouldn't tolerate 'under Allah' being plastered all over your Pepsi can, would you? Damn right, you wouldn't. I find it utterly laugh-inducing that there are still people who actually push this shit. They're still bitching about evolution, they don't want their children taking Greek Mythology classes or learning about Muslims. They want the words 'under God' on their Pepsi cans and 'I love Jesus' on the bombs we drop on Afghanistan. They want Jesus shaped fritos to dip in their holy guacamole.

In the meantime, I'm gonna worship the sun. And I'm gonna keep enjoying my Godless Pepsi.

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